50 Timeless Pieces of Advice About Love And Relationships

I found yesterday this article and I can not be more agree with almost ALL they wrote here. Is a post from “The daily hiit” http://www.dailyhiit.com/, one of the blog I follow and a very good space for health and wellness in general.

I chat about this article with my boyfriend (I love to change opinions with him about everything!) and I’m happy to see we agree and share the same vision about where we are and where we want to go.

I hope you found this inspirational and help you to remember how you want to live your love relationship 😉

  • Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes or belittles you.
  • If you feel lonely in your relationship, you’re better off being alone.
  • Know when to walk away.
  • You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.
  • Love is a verb. Not a noun.
  • When a lightbulb burns out, you replace the lightbulb. You don’t buy a new house.
  • Don’t stay with someone who has no regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.
  • Just because you love each other, doesn’t mean you’re good together long term.
  • No relationship is perfect and conflict is inevitable. What matters is that you have the desire to resolve the issues.
  • Fight the problem. Not the Person. Keep this in mind so you can solve the problem instead of being mad at the other person.
  • Don’t look for a girl you want to treat as a princess (or a guy as a prince), look for one you want to treat as a partner.
  • Don’t disparage your significant other behind their back.
  • Confidence isn’t “I know s/he likes me,” it is “I will be okay whether s/he likes me or not.”
  • You can be compatible with a number of people. There is no ‘perfect’ match, you have to work at love.
  • You are NOT required to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
  • Marry the person who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming in a restaurant.
  • The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it is greener where you water it.
  • Stop trying to find the right person, and start trying to BE the right person.
  • The person who cares the least in a relationship has most of the control.
  • Don’t fall in love with your waitress, hooker or therapist.
  • It’s better to be happy than it is to be right.
  • Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.
  • You can’t expect someone to love you if you can’t love yourself.
  • Just because you like the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you will like the relationship-version.
  • Before you move in together, road trip together.
  • Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen you both.
  • When you and your partner fight, it is you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.
  • Just because doesn’t love you the way you’d like them to, doesn’t mean they aren’t loving you with all they have.
  • Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.
  • It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.
  • If the world didn’t give second chances, we’d all be single.
  • Everyone searches for the perfect person without trying to be the most perfect versions of themselves possible.
  • If to love the memories more than the present, it is time to move on.
  • Just because someone may be right for you, it doesn’t mean you are right for them.
  • If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.
  • Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.
  • Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.
  • Be the person you would want your future (or current) child to date.
  • Love is about appreciation, not possession.
  • Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will still be there and worse in the morning.
  • Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.
  • If someone threatens to leave you, help them pack.
  • Keep no secrets, tell no lies.
  • Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.
  • Relationships aren’t hard (even if they are work). If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.
  • Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.
  • If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.
  • If you’re keeping score you’ve already lost.
  • Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.
  • The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.

Love,

Pepa Gómez

La pena…

Eso es lo que estoy sintiendo, mucha pena…

Estuve un mes fuera de casa, y mañana me toca regresar. Es la primera vez que siento que no necesito volver, que estoy bien así, sólo con una maleta absorbiendo todo lo que la vida me quiera regalar. 

El primer y mayor regalo en este mes fue compartir durante 25 días con una de mis mejores amigas, mi parter, mi compañera de viajes que considero como una hermana; esta amiga que te llena de luz y alegría y que hace que todo lo difícil parezca nada. Así es mi amiga, un huracán de fuego, belleza, inteligencia y fuerza que es uno de mis modelos a seguir; una bocanada de aire fresco y simplicidad que desarma mi estructura y me ayuda a gozar como a mi me gusta, como a mi me acomoda y como se siente bien.  Una de mis penas es que se me fue, volvió a mi querido Chile y me dejó un hoyito en el corazón… Como te extraño amiga!

El segundo regalo fue poder compartir y conocer mas a mi bello; el hombre que me roba el corazón día a día y que cada me sorprende con su dulzura, cariño, entrega, comprensión, amor, sabiduria, simpleza, etc., etc., etc…. Han sido días que no quiero que acaben, días que quiero que perduren por lo que ni sé como retomar mi vida, mi cotidiano.

Cómo avanzar? Qué decisiones tomar? Por dónde comenzar? Mi cabeza esta llena de preguntas, ideas, imágenes; mi corazón está convertido en un pozo de mil sentimientos y yo solo quiero tener el poder de hac parar el tiempo y quedarme donde estoy, en paz y simplemente poder descansar mi alma y llenarme del amor que me he llenado en este mes.

Tengo mucha pena, tanta que hasta me duele pero intentaré agarrarme de las sonrisas recibidas, del amor, de lo simples, de la miradas y todo lo que le dió paz a mi espíritu y lo hizo sentirse libre y feliz.

Love,

Pepa Gómez 

Saudades… 😞  

A couples of things…

I have a couple of things to say so the best way for me is make a list, so here I go:

– After almost 3 most of started my blog (36 post later) I can just be mesmerized because this week the estadistic said my blog was looking 1015!… how I can not be more them grateful?! I was not having any idea people would be interesting in what I write because I did initially this just for me, like a way for exprese all my thought I always have with me, so to all are expending time dedicated their attention to this a huge TRANK YOU! (gracias, obrigado, merci, tak, etc.) .

– From today I just have one week until my next travel adventure with one of my best chilean friend for one month! I’m beyond excited and ready for this week prepare my last things (part of that online with my friend who is in Chile).

– Yesterday I did a major step at work for what I want for my future so I will pray for that and for the new steps are coming (I hope soon).

– And I need to comment what happened with the Germanwings airline, the co-pilot and what he did. I can not imagine how bad you need to be for forget all your principles and kill in such a terrible way so many innocents; I’m kind of obssesive with this news because I will travel soon many times in on month and more because I know how is live with depression and not take care of that. Are so many things in my mind about all this, about the victims, the families, the air family; about how bad you can be if you not treat yourself for a mental/soul problem and how “normal” can be to the point anyone see how bad you are until happens the worst…

So this post is essencially for say thank you, for be grateful for all is happening in my life, for be excited, for tell you to follow your heart, your dreams and what do you want and for more then everything for tell you PLEASE TAKE CARE YOUR SOUL, YOUR MIND AND YOUR HEART FOR ALL THE SICKNESS, BADNESS AND PAIN IS AROUND US.

Take your life in your hand and fight for her with all you have!

Love,

Pepa

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10 Signs You’ve Found “The One”

“The One”; this can be such a daunting term… I read today about this and can not be more agree.

This is from MindBodyGreen, I hope you can see inside of your relationship and check how is going on because like the said “WE JUST DESERVE THE GREATNESS IN OUR LIFES” 😉

Being with the right person can not only determine authentic, unconditional happiness, but your health as well. Being in a toxic relationship may keep you from true happiness, stop you from experiencing unconditional love, and can hold you back from living the life you’re meant to be living.

I’ve found my soul mate, best friend, and the most perfect person on earth for me.

We’re incredibly lucky. I hope each and every one don’t accept anything but greatness.

Here are 10 (out of so many) simple things to look out for in a relationship:

1. Your partner is your best friend. You’re 110% yourself, you feel free, and enjoy the little things in life together.

2. Your partner is the one you want next to you in your deepest, darkest moments.

3. You’re capable of being away from each other, but neither of you like it one bit.

4. Your partner is your #1 choice for the person you want with you when you splurge on your favorite treat, watch an embarrassing television show, or forget your manners at the dinner table because you’re too exhausted that day.

5. The two of you compromise with each other. You don’t always get your way.

6. You care about his or her needs more than your own.

7. You both know that throughout life you might change and grow, but you’ll always change and grow together. Life is about enjoying the stages with each other.

8. When something happens—terrible, exciting or completely insignificant—he or she is always the first person you want to tell.

9. He or she balances you out, and you do the same. Where one is weaker, the other is stronger.

10. You know that no matter what, he or she will always stand by you and be on your side.

Bonus: You both take a moment, every day, to think about just how lucky you are to have found your most perfect person on this earth ❤

soulmate

Pepa Gómez

10 Tips To Make Your Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Works

The first time I feel I was really in love was in February, 2003 and was not easy because was my first LDR. So far, I had 3 LDR in my life and I can said (with knowledge) you need to really commitment for make this works.

In the first case and now I experienced what I will post here and that make all the difference for create the love and relationship you dream.

I hope this help to all who have their loves far away and want with all their hearts their relationship work!

Enjoy!

Pepa Gómez

(post from MindBodyGreen)

“What military families have always had to deal with — the impending doom of long-distance relationships — has now become very common. Especially with the increasing popularity of online dating, men and women alike are meeting partners in unexpected places; social media allows us to reconnect with friends and acquaintances from our past in surprising ways. In short, technology has made the world a much smaller place.

With that said, here are 10 tips I’ve learned while on my own long-distance journey. Obviously, there are far more than 10 things to do to cultivate a healthier relationship. But like me, you’ll figure them out on your own journey. So start with these to build a solid foundation …

1. Communicate — clearly and consistently.

I wish I could list this tip 10 times over! For any relationship, romantic or otherwise, communication is vital. In long-distance relationships, where the comfort of physical touch is not available, it’s especially important to prioritize transparent and authentic communication. Get to know one another’s needs and desires, so that resentments and frustrations don’t build over time. Find out what modes of communication work best for you. And use them frequently!

2. Remember that social media is a no-no.

This may sound ironic, especially after I’m telling you to prioritize regular communication. But social media is not an especially mindful or intentional place to have intimate, honest conversations. Even if you met your partner on a social media platform, make a conscious effort not to use it as a tool for sharing and catching up with one another. Communication with your partner should be relatively private and direct.

3. Make plans for the immediate future.

Don’t make your partner guess if and when you will be together again. As soon as you are both able to commit to a time-frame and location, make a plan. Also make sure you are both willing to take turns doing the traveling. Having some kind of consistency and predictability in how you spend time together will help build trust. Plus, it will make the feeling of longing on a day-to-day basis feel much more manageable.

4. Make plans for the distant future, too.

Show your intentions for the relationship by agreeing to plans further down the road. If it’s winter, make some vacation plans for spring or summer. If it’s early on in your relationship, don’t put pressure on this tip. But you can have casual conversations about things you might like to do in the future, and make concrete plans later.

5. Use texting appropriately!

Texting was designed as a means of communicating short, simple messages, not as a means for long and involved conversations. In fact, trying to express complex thoughts over text message can often lead to things being lost in translation, and potentially even unnecessary conflict. So use text messages to communicate quick thoughts like, “I’m thinking of you!” or “I’ll give you a call after work!” Avoid drunk texting for obvious reasons. “Sexting” is a different topic altogether, as it works for some and less so for others. This is one area where you’ll figure out what works for your relationship!

6. Email each other longer trains of thought.

If a topic deserves more thoughtful consideration, email is the way to go. Email about trip ideas, planning visits, or other more involved trains of thought. That said, don’t try and communicate “relationship issues” over email. Save that for the phone, or better yet, in person. In other words, if it’s too long for a text, and not so serious as to warrant an immediate phone conversation, try email.

7. Keep things special with snail mail.

Everyone likes to receive mail that isn’t a bill or an advertisement. Getting a letter or postcard also shows you took the time and made a little more of an effort. Send a cute card, love note or small gift to surprise your partner!

8. Talk daily. Yes, daily!

Long or short telephone conversations will keep you present with your partner. You’ll feel more connected and will also look forward to this part of your day or night. Even schedule “phone dates.” While I prefer not to Skype or use FaceTime, they may work better for you than the phone, so experiment.

9. Develop rituals.

Having things the two of you share when you’re apart will make you feel closer. My partner and I will go out and look at the moon “together” often when we talk. You can make a routine of a “Good Morning” or “Good Night” text. Be creative and see what works for you.

10. Honor your partner’s independence.

Taking the time to recognize your partner’s independence from you and your relationship can sometimes feel painful, especially in the context of a long-distance relationship. But like you, your partner has an entire world that they experience everyday. They have a career, home, friends and family. Honor their independence, and they will honor yours. Not only will you avoid codependency, you will feel more confident and empowered in your own daily life.

All relationships require nurturing. So don’t expect a long-distance one to be any different.”

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Valentine’s Day

In 8 years I had 3 relationships but I never celebrate Valentine’s Day (was not something attractive for my partners)…

I always think in the little details you can demonstrate your love and can make your day better and don’t need to be just an special day for say to your lover how much you adore him/her, but, in this special day is extra nice to hear or see how much you mean for that person.

I was giving up to all the romance, to all that details I dream to receive from my other; I was not having that “other” until the beginning of this month…

Today the history is other and I wake up with the man I love, looking me in the webcam (LDR), telling me how much he love me, how beautiful I’m, how lucky he is to be with me and more (like he is doing all the time); I wake up when he was drawing a portrait of us and preparing a special playlist for me with the first song he wrote for me; I wake up with their smile and all the love a woman can feel and with my mind thinking “I have what I was dreaming for so long time, someone loving me just like I’m”.

So for all the dreamers and lovers in this World I just can say: Never give up! Because in some place of this Universe is someone waiting for see your soul and give you the love you dream… Just what was happen to me ❤️

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Pepa Gómez

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